Uke Festival
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: Eight months ago a mysterious event took place during Konoha's Uke Festival, causing several of Konoha's best to become impregnated. Yaoi, yuri and m-preg.


Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

This fanfiction has several pairings in it. If you're opposed to yaoi, yuri or m-preg please go away or you will be offended.

This is a little oneshot I wrote for the fun of m-preg without having to start another chapter fanfic. Enjoy! :)

* * *

Eight months ago, a very, very strange thing happened in the Leaf village. See, that month was hosting the Uke Festival, the festival held once a year where homosexual couples celebrated uke by reversing their role in bed so that the usual uke was the seme for a night.

However, something out of the ordinary happened that night. Unknown to everyone, a secret jutsu was being woven while the couples…_slept…_if you get my drift…

This jutsu was revealed some weeks later when one particular jonin went in for his annual check-up to find that he had been, to put it bluntly, knocked up. Examination of other ninja proved that seme all over the Leaf (and Sand, as some Suna ninja had been visiting at the time of the festival) had been impregnated. The perpetrator has not been identified and the many distraught, and some happy, ninja were left to deal with this news.

The most interesting bit is that this jutsu took place during the Uke Festival, making it so only seme would be impregnated. It was a convenient move because no other time of year has more gay couples rolling around in bed.

That was eight months ago.

* * *

"GET ME SOME MORE VINEGAR TO PUT ON THIS SAUSAGE!"

"Yes, honey." called Naruto irritably in response to his lover's impatience. Of course, he would probably be reacting the same way if he'd spent eight months watching his stomach get bigger with a child that shouldn't have existed.

Naruto brought the vinegar to Sasuke, who unceremoniously dumped it on his plate of sausages, which was resting on his large stomach.

"Thanks." he muttered.

Naruto sat next to Sasuke and watched him demolish his food. They'd been a couple ever since he'd convinced Sasuke to return to the Leaf and he knew Sasuke cared about him, even if he was unwilling to show it.

"Aren't you excited?" asked Naruto, trying to resist the urge to bounce up and down.

"Why? So I can have my stomach ripped open and have a miniature version of you for a child?"

"Don't put it like that, you meanie. She might hear you."

A C-section was necessary, since there was no other way for the baby to possibly get out of Sasuke.

"You're so immature." huffed Sasuke, but Naruto could see a hint of a smile on his face.

Naruto draped an arm around Sasuke's shoulder. "I know. That's why you love me."

"…..I guess…."

* * *

Gaara scowled at himself in the mirror. "I look horrible."

Lee peeked his head into the room. "Huh?"

"I. Look. Horrible. I'm fat."

"You're not fat, you're-"

"Chubby?"

"No, you're pregnant. There's nothing fat about that."

Lee bounded into the room and put his arms around Gaara's large waist.

"I don't see how you can stand the sight of me naked," muttered Gaara. "I can't."

"You're beautiful in all of your facets." murmured Lee.

"Still, I don't see why _I _had to get pregnant_._"

"Tsunade-sama explained it, Gaara. It was during the uke festival."

"I know, but…"

"Gaara, you're beautiful and youthful. Please don't call yourself fat."

"Don't call me youthful." grumbled Gaara.

Lee grinned. "Of course, your majesty."

"And don't called me your majesty!"

* * *

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi froze halfway out the door. "What?" he called cautiously.

Iruka marched himself into sight. "Where do you think you're going?"

"For a walk?" questioned Kakashi weakly.

"Oh, no you don't!"

Iruka grabbed Kakashi's arm and dragged him back to the couch. "You're eight months pregnant, you can't just go for a walk anytime you want."

"I can't do anything," whined Kakashi. "I haven't been on a mission in months and now you won't let me go outside. I can't even have sex with you."

"That baby can hear you, Kakashi. Do you really want it to hear us having sex?"

"I don't really care," pouted Kakashi. "I just want to do something."

"Watch TV, then."

"I'm not a big fan of midmorning soaps."

"You're not a fan of anything right now."

"No, I'm not. You try being a pregnant man, Iruka."

Iruka's face softened. "You're right, I'm sorry."

He leaned over and kissed Kakashi, who smiled. "Finally, something."

"We're still not having sex."

"I know. Just….just sit with me for a while, would you?"

Iruka nodded, smiling back.

* * *

"Are you hungry?" called Kiba nervously.

Shino didn't answer.

"Are you?"

No answer.

"I have your favourite food."

No response.

"Are you alive?"

Nothing.

"If you don't say anything soon I'm going to assume you're dead."

Still nothing.

Kiba sat down, biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed.

"I love you."

Shino looked away.

"I love you too."

* * *

"Are you all right?"

Hinata was freaking out in that adorable quiet way she had. Sakura gave her a wane smile.

"I'm fine. My water just broke, that's all."

"_Just _broke? That's a big deal, Sakura!"

"We'll get to the hospital in time, don't worry. Besides, I'm a medic. I can take care of myself."

Hinata pressed her hand into Sakura's. "I don't want you to take care of yourself. I want to take care of you."

Sakura felt a contraction come in, but she couldn't help smiling. "I know this is early, but I just can't help but be excited. We never thought we'd have children, but now…twins!"

Hinata gave her a wavering smile. "I know."

Hinata, acting on sudden impulse, leaned down and kissed Sakura's cheek. Sakura grinned.

"Let's go have that baby."

Hinata grinned back, a look of uncharacteristic determination on her face.

"You said it."

* * *

Shikamaru yawned. "I am digging this whole pregnancy thing," he muttered. "I don't have to do anything but sit here and watch TV."

"Yes, but I have to be your veritable maid!" complained Neji. He was wearing a pink apron and had his sleeves rolled up to reveal muscular arms. Yes, the view was definitely nice.

"That's the great thing about this," shrugged Shikamaru. "Hey, if you get me pregnant you're going to make up for it. Labor's going to be troublesome and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." grumbled Neji as he pulled on pink rubber gloves to clean the dishes.

"And besides," continued Shikamaru. "I didn't pick out the pink."

Neji's face glowed crimson. "They were Hinata's!"

"Sure, because Hinata was the one who went to the store last week and picked those out."

"If you want dinner, shut up!"

Shikamaru was silent.

"Hey, Shikamaru, do you...do you think our child will have your eyes or mine?"

* * *

Tsunade smiled. As she used Sarutobi's crystal ball to stalk the recipients of her plan, she grinned, trying to hide those tears that came easily with menopause. Her plan had worked perfectly.

* * *

So, what did you think? Is it what you expected? :) Review please!


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